I used to be a big fan of the band Smash Mouth. I still kind of am, to be honest. I enjoy their catchy tunes. I had all of their albums up until their last one, “Summer Girl,” released in 2008. Let’s talk about that. “Walking on the Sun” is still a great song, even though it’s over 20 years old. However, it seems like they got stuck after their success with Shrek. They became known as the band that makes songs for animated films. I realized that I had changed while they stayed the same. I wanted my favorite band to evolve and grow, to challenge me with each new album. That’s what I believe makes a great band.
In life, I believe there are two types of people. Some feel that they have reached a point where they no longer need to grow or change. They are content with their current state. On the other hand, there are those who are always looking to expand their knowledge, learn new things, and continue growing. Both approaches are valid, and it ultimately depends on what you want from life.
The challenge arises when fixed mindset individuals want you to remain fixed as well. They are uncomfortable with your growth and expansion. Perhaps they feel threatened by the change or simply don’t understand it. Similar to how family members want to keep you safe, friends may resist your transformation if it means you no longer see the world the same way they do.
I’ve spent a lot of time in a bubble, surrounded by terms like growth mindset, nonviolent communication, authentic relating, and holding space. These terms are familiar within my circle, but I’ve come to realize that they don’t permeate the general population. Stepping out of that bubble and engaging in conversations with people outside my circle has made me aware of this.
Sometimes, what may appear as a bubble is actually a hot air balloon. Certain people, practices, or situations keep us tethered to the ground, preventing us from soaring to new heights. While it’s important to stay grounded, we should also strive for growth and expansion. However, if people constantly try to pull us down, it can hinder our progress. This can be due to their discomfort with change or their own fear of taking the leap themselves.
If you’re aiming for something significant, you may find yourself on the threshold between two worlds. One world consists of your friends, family, and loved ones who may not fully understand or support your vision. The other world is where you want to go, where you see new possibilities and opportunities.
It’s crucial to remember that you’re not abandoning anyone by crossing that threshold. You’re simply exploring new territory. Some friends may choose to join you on this journey, while others may not be ready or willing to do so. You can’t force them to come along, and that’s okay. You can still maintain a connection with them if they choose to, but ultimately, it’s their decision.
Breaking ties with people who aren’t aligned with you is not necessary in every case. Instead, evaluate the foundation of your friendship. Is it based on a shared idea that no longer serves you? Is it centered around activities or habits that you want to change? Or is the bond built on something deeper? Depending on the answers, you may need to dissolve or redefine that bond.
Not every creative project or personal change feels like crossing a threshold, but if you’re committing to something significant, be prepared for the changes that may lie ahead. It may take time, and this may not be relevant to you right now. However, at some point, you may find yourself facing the choice of leaving certain things or people behind. Embrace it as part of your growth process and focus on what you’re moving towards rather than what you’re leaving behind.
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